I have this tendency to drift. I start off with what I think is a pretty good plan or idea, but then I get distracted by another plan or idea that seems pretty good too and instead of finishing the first one, I add another project to the pile. Eventually, I’m starting a third, a fourth, and a fifth project, exploring new ideas, new things to learn, etc, and I have drifted away from the original thing I was interested in.

Call it rabbit-holing, thread pulling, or just mental exploring, I do this over and over again in my personal life. At work I can stay focused on one thing because I rarely find that anything in my career is still novel enough to pull me off task (when you are in the same line of work for over half of your life you stop finding it all that “new”) but outside of work? Hey, wow, there is this interesting thing or idea or technology or process of person or culture, I need to explore that… One thing leads to another and another.

A side effect of this drift is that I have a hands on approach to learning which means I don’t just intellectually acquire, I physically acquire, and this means that I wind up with an accumulation of “stuff” which I struggle to keep and I struggle to dispose of.

For example: an interest in smoking cheeses and cocktails leads to the purchase of a small cold smoking device, a few experiments, a “meh”, and a permanent space in the cupboard for this weird contraption which I will likely never use again. Multiply this concept by about 1000 and you have my problem in a nutshell.

Now that I am somewhat swimming in half finished projects, things I “am in the middle of”, things I am bored with, things I am still interested in, things I am unsure about, books I still intend to read some day, and the like, I find myself suffering from a sort of paralysis on a daily basis resulting from having too many options, too much choice. I can do almost anything so nothing gets done.

I intellectually understand the situation, very well, but I am not emotionally or psychologically equipped to just sort it all out. There are logistical issues as well. I can’t just throw things away. Landfills are forever and books, records, CDs, electronic devices, tools, appliances, cameras, blank media, video games, and similar do not belong in them. Tech recycling, online auction sites, local classified ads, garage sales, thrift store donations, all of these are options exist, but selling items takes time, donating as well, and I am a person who is always short on time.

I’m trying to take charge of the situation as part of my personal reset. I have made it a personal goal to lose weight of all kinds. Physical, mental, emotional. My physical weight loss is coming along very well, I’m down almost 20 pounds so far this year, and I’ve been leaning in to organizing the things I have, reducing the rate of acquiring new things, and selling things I no longer want or need. I try to make progress every day but I also work not to get disheartened by how endless the task is. It’s not a thing with a beginning and an end, it is a practice of changing how I interact with my physical self and physical space. If I reduce and divest more than I expand and acquire, I will reach where I want to go.

The pandemic really made this situation bad. During the pandemic I wound up feeling free to engage in all sorts of things I was curious about because the rest of my normal life suddenly came to a screeching halt. I collected a ridiculous amount of vintage tech that I had always been interested in but could never afford. Fountain pens, typewriters, 8-bit computers, instruments, cameras, anything that seemed fun or novel. Some of those pursuits are worth keeping around, and some turned out to be dead ends. Now I have to winnow, separate the wheat from the chaff as it were. Keep the stuff that I love, find new dispositions for the rest.

I’m honestly enjoying the process. It feels like recovering from one of the weirdest time periods of my life. I learned a lot, I acquired new skills and hobbies and interests that are going to stick with me for the rest of my days, but part of returning to normal life post-pandemic is downsizing my possessions in a mindful way so that’s what I’m doing. That, and trying to be more mindful about the drift.