I started writing this blog on December 15, 2004 as a place to record all my explorations, questions, thoughts and issues related to religion. Why I feel compelled to write such a thing is the subject of this post.
It all begins with my upbringing as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses. Shortly before my older brother was born my parents were baptized as Jehovah’s’ Witnesses. My mother was formerly a Catholic and my dad was a Christian of some sort although I am not sure I was ever really aware of his previous denomination. From the moment they decided to join the Witnesses my life was put on a course that it stayed on until earlier this year when I basically deconverted from the religion.
For some time after I mentally deconverted I was still one of Jehovah’s Witnesses in that I had been neither disfellowshipped (i.e. excommunicated, shunned) from the group nor had I officially disassociated myself. I ultimately did, however, choose to disassociate myself from the group and am no longer an official member.
A lot of people leave Jehovah’s Witnesses. In fact, most researchers state that they have quite a high turnover of membership with rates of inactivity, disfellowshipping and disassociation being only marginally lower than baptismal rates. I am unaware of any references that can provide the actual numbers but based on personal experience I would say that a typical American congregation gains a few members each year through baptism and loses a few each year through disfellowshipping or disassociation. It is far more common for members to simply become “inactive”, to cease attending meetings, going in the door-to-door ministry and the like although these inactive members typically show up for the Memorial celebration every year.
It’s fairly common that people leave but continue to believe and most Witnesses are used to that. They refer to themselves as “in The Truth” and to the organization as “The Truth”, “The Society” or “The Organization” and many who leave still consider it to be absolute truth. They leave because of what they view as personal weakness, disagreements with others, “sins” they’ve committed because of lack of self-control or any of a number of reasons. When a person leaves the group but continues to believe in it (becoming, as I’ve heard it put, a “Jehovah’s Witness bystander”) those who are still “in The Truth” are often sympathetic towards them. They show them love, compassion and tolerance, warmly embracing them and encouraging them when they come to a meeting (unless the person has been disfellowshipped, in which case they feel happy to see them but cannot tell them so). To leave the group due to personal weakness while still being desirous of membership is both common and fairly accepted. We’re all imperfect, goes the reasoning, so we must forgive and accept our brothers and sisters when they falter if they are repentant.
It is far less common although not unheard of, in my experience, that a person leaves in the manner in which I have left. It is less common that a person leaves due to lack of belief. Despite this, I have left for exactly that reason. The main purpose of this blog therefore is to document why I no longer believe for myself, my son, my friends and my family members. I don’t even begin to hope that they will follow my lead and stop being members of the organization. I am not anti-Watchtower and if religion and belief in Jehovah god are positive forces in the lives of the people I love I would never presume to dissuade them from sticking with those things. I would, however, like to know that I put forth a good faith effort to make my positions and the reasons for them clear and publicly known for anybody who cares to read them. If nothing else I hope that my family will intellectually understand why I can not be a member of their religious organization and what would be required in terms of proof and validation in order for me to do so again. If I never return to religion and there actually is a God and he has simply made me in such a way that I am incapable of finding him, I hope he understands. If my family is going to weep over me and pity me for the rest of our lives, wasting the precious time we could potentially have together, I hope they will at least take the time to attempt to understand. The information is all going to be right here.
Lest the idea be given that this entire site is about Jehovah’s Witnesses I would like to point out that the subject is RELIGION, not Jehovah’s Witnesses. It would be small minded of me to pick out just one specific sect of Christianity which itself is just one of the worlds major religions just because I happened to be born into that group. Ultimately, as I hope to show here, I can personally find no rational basis for any belief in anything supernatural. I will, when writing, often use Jehovah’s Witnesses (and their publications) as a point of reference, as a case study to illustrate good and bad things about religion and as an example in various points I develop. Why? Because the group was the source of my religious training, I am intimately familiar with their teachings and they are a good example of the good and the bad of religion. There will be a lot of Jehovah’s Witness related discussion but I don’t really think they’re much more right or wrong than any other religion. They’re just the group I know best.
More From Ryan Sutter
- Jehovah’s Witnesses Literature Banned as “Extremist” in Russia
- my last post as vioman
- what’s goin’ on…
- this morning
- The Internet vs. The Watchtower
