For years and years and years I have made music. For years and years and years I have not done it alone. Then I went through a change of sorts. I learned things that changed my mind about things. Important things. The (admittedly unhealthy) relationship I was in ended. My friends were forced to distance themselves from me. I wound up in a precarious “outside” position I never envisioned. I kept some things. My cats. My apartment. My optimistic outlook on life. My love for other people. Music.
Music gets you through things, makes things bearable sometimes. I wrote music during this change. I recorded it. I released it to the world on tuesday. The new Rift magazine has an ad for my CD in it. My release party is tomorrow night at Manhattan Loft after 9:00. It’s only the second time I’ve ever played live alone even if it is the 17th live performance I’ve been a part of over the last 15 years. It is also the first time that the crowd is likely to be strangers, college students I’ve never met, people looking for beer and entertainment. For all my NGP past and recording experience I have little preparation for this and I’m surprisingly unsure of myself. It’ll be me, my new guitar and amp, my laptop and a list of songs. Hrmmm. The heartburn I am suffering right now does not do the fear justice.
I’m not sure if it scares me more to play for people I don’t know or to NOT be playing for the Witness friends I miss so badly. I think Rhett, Reed and Robbie will swing by and who know who else might. I sure hope they do.
More From Ryan Sutter
- the big issues of the day
- oh my goodness
- The Context Release Show
- when I was a kid…
- musical submissions
