I do not know what people have heard about me in the last few months. I am certain that the overwhelming public perception is “Ryan left the truth and his wife”. This is my last post here on LJ and it’s intent is for no reason other than to provide a public statement of my beliefs so that in case you meet me on the street or hear something about me, you know where I stand. There is no bitterness or angst and no discussion of my crisis of faith. It’s simply a statement of what I now believe that I want to make available in a semi-public way so that there is no confusion. So, here goes:
This is not easy for you to read, I’m sure, but in all honesty I do not believe the Bible is the inspired word of God and I neither believe in nor worship the God of the Bible. I am a weak atheist, one who does not believe God exists but who leaves open the possibility that new evidence could come to light that changes that view. I am not a member of, and will not become a member of, any organized religion outside of Jehovah’s Witnesses and I have furthermore not officially disassociated myself from (or been disfellowshipped from) Jehovah’s Witnesses despite my beliefs. My reasons for not disassociating have to do with the “weak” part of my atheism. I wish to leave the door open to have conversations with the elders of a spiritual nature in case I come across new information. I have had extensive conversations with the elders about my beliefs and also have written them a letter explaining my position. It has so far been respected.
Regarding Amanda, I will simply say that she chose to leave, of her own free will, and had been indicating the desire to leave/divorce for over a year before we split. I do not wish for her return for my sake, Syd’s sake and her sake. It just isn’t healthy for anybody. However, I do not wish her ill will.
Knowing what I don’t believe is one thing, knowing what I do believe is something else. I am a secular humanist and believe in treating people with love, respect, decency and honor. I believe in allowing others their beliefs even if they conflict with my own. I believe in showing respect for my fellow man and for the planet I live on. Since I no longer believe in a paradise Earth or a resurrection I believe that the life I have now is that much more precious and valuable and should be used to what ends I see fit. I do not feel empty, hopeless or alone without my former beliefs. Instead I feel fulfilled, grounded and as if the world I live in makes sense for the first time. I am not afraid.
As a secular humanist, I have mixed feelings about religion in general. I believe it to be of human origin and to provide certain positives (community, moral teachings) and certain negatives (fear, repression, divisiveness). If a Witness knocked on my door or I met you or another Witness friend of mine on the street I would not attack your beliefs, would not attempt to de-convert you, would not attempt to belittle or disrespect you. If religion is important to you and is a positive force in your life, I’m glad and I hope for it to stay in that role for you.
It is inevitable that I’m going to be at a show at First Ave or at a mall or something and run into some of you LJ people and you’re going to think “whoa, it’s Ryan” and maybe you won’t want to talk to me. But, if you do, I promise to respect you and what you believe since I am intimately aware of what it means to hold those beliefs. In return, I simply ask that you do me the courtesy of respecting that my beliefs come through honest and open consideration of the evidence I see, just as yours do. The fact that we’ve reached different conclusions doesn’t mean one of us is evil, it just means that we have reached different conclusions. What this means in practice is that I would rather meet a friend, give them a hug hello, show them I miss them and talk about music or kids or whatever than dredge these things up. I won’t try to tear you down, talk about religion or anything that would make you uncomfortable. I don’t see what I could possibly hope to gain by doing that other than to make a person I care about feel bad.
If you know anybody who knows me who is wondering what is going on with me, please feel free to direct them to this LJ posting as it is, I hope, a clear answer to the question.
I love all of you and I wish you all the best. I’ve loved the last 15 years of Nuclear Gopher, the shows, the movies, Loose Knit Cinema, the time spent at assemblies and conventions, so much good time spent with good people. I miss you all…
Ryan
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. . . (Anonymous) 2004-07-21 02:44 pm UTC (link)     |
| I can only quote Jenny Holzer.
“humanism is obsolete” |
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Re: . . . vioman2004-07-21 04:04 pm UTC (link) |
| What an odd thing to say… I mean, unless humans themselves become obsolete I have a hard time understanding what this could possibly mean… |
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Ryan (Anonymous) 2004-09-02 12:08 am UTC (link) |
| All I can say is that anyone who has the courage to stand up and say, at great risk of unpleasant personal consequences, what they believe is a great human being. How can anyone have anything but respect for that? |
More From Ryan Sutter
- God As I Knew Him – Part 4
- God As I Knew Him – Part 3
- what’s goin’ on…
- a list for my 30s
- an actual personal entry…
